Tips for Parents
Why don't youth report bullying or cyberbullying?
It can be difficult for parents to know when their child is being bullied. Most bullying and cyberbullying happens where adults can’t overhear or see what is happening, which makes it hard to recognize. To make matters worse, youth don’t always say that they are being bullied. Youth may not share incidents for multiple reasons, which include:
- They may not realize that what they are experiencing is bullying.
- They feel helpless, humiliated, or isolated, or all of the above.
- They are afraid of backlash from the bully or of being punished by adults.
- They want to regain control by handling the situation themselves.
- They are afraid of being rejected or judged by their peers or by adults.
- They believe no one cares or understands.
Warning signs that your child may be a victim of bullying or cyberbullying
Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, reluctant to go to school and excuses to skip school or activities
Frequent headaches, stomach aches or having trouble sleeping
Change in eating habits: Loss of appetite or binge eating
Sadness, easily upset and irritable, decreased self-esteem, possible self harm or suicidal thoughts
Obsession or completely withdrawn from devices and social media
Being secretive of their digital life, refuse to talk about what is wrong
Lost or destroyed personal possessions, such as clothing, electronics, or jewelry
Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
Unexplained injuries, such as cuts, bruises, or scratches
What Should I Do If My Child Is Being Bullied or Cyberbullied?
- Establish open and honest communication
Establish a supportive environment where your child feels comfortable talking to you about their experiences in real life and online. Listen attentively and without judgment. Assure them that you love them and that they can talk to you about anything. If your child tells you they are being bullied, stay calm and take them seriously. Tell them that the bullying is not their fault and that you will help them.
- Gather Evidence
Document information about what the bullies were doing, time, place, and other relevant information. Encourage your child to save screenshots or copies of hurtful messages or posts as evidence. This documentation will be helpful when reporting the incident(s).
- Report the Incident(s)
Reach out to the social media platform, school, or any other relevant authority to report the bullying or cyberbullying incident(s). Provide the evidence you have gathered to support your claim.
- Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to help your child cope with the emotional impact of bullying or cyberbullying and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
How do I talk to my child about bullying and cyberbullying?
Ask gentle questions to determine the situation.
Clarify that even liking or sharing hurtful content is unacceptable.
Educate your child about the repercussions of bullying and cyberbullying.
Work with teachers, mentors, & guidance counselors to get support for your child.
Encourage your children to share with you if their friends are being bullied.
Encourage your child to reach out to others who are being bullied and lend support.
What Should I Do If My Child Is Bullying Others?
- Take It Seriously
Don’t treat this behavior as a phase. If this behavior is left unaddressed, it may lead to serious problems for your child and others later in life.
- Establish open and honest communication
Ask gentle questions to find out why your child is bullying others. Sometimes youth will bully others when they are dealing with negative emotions, experiencing major changes at home or school, are being bullied themselves, or for other reasons. Stay calm. Assure them that you love them and that you are here to help them. Tell them that this behavior is not acceptable, and they need to change the behavior. Emphasize the effects of bullying and cyberbullying on youth who are bullied and on youth who bully others.
- Work with Teachers, Counselors, and Other Mentors to Help Support Your Child
Ask teachers, counselors, and other mentors about any struggles your child may be facing. Be sure to let them know of any relevant circumstances that may affect your child’s behavior. Ask for advice on how you can help your child work through these struggles.
- Seek Professional Help
Consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to help your child develop healthy coping mechanisms, learn to take responsibility, and learn how to develop and maintain healthy relationships.
Warning Signs That Your Child May Be Bullying or Cyberbullying Others
- Worries about their popularity or reputation and gets competitive
- Getting into physical or verbal fights
- Having friends that bully others
- Are increasingly aggressive
- Get sent to the principal's office or detention frequently
- Having unexplained extra money or new belongings
- Obsessively uses of devices, websites, and social media accounts
- Being secretive about their digital lives
- Using multiple online accounts
- Becoming overly upset when access to devices or online accounts is restricted
- Blames others for their problems
- Doesn't take responsibility for their actions
How Do I Protect My Child Online?
- Discuss what is appropriate to post, discuss, and share online. Encourage your child to interact online the same way they would interact face-to-face.
- Discuss what content is appropriate for your child to access, view, or share online.
- Ensure your child understands that what they post on the internet is permanent and can affect future opportunities like job applications and college admissions.
- Discuss and role model respectful and tolerant behavior towards others both in real life and online.
- Check online to see what information is available about your child.
- Be aware of what social media apps and websites your child uses.
- Be aware of what your child shares online.
- Help your child set privacy and security settings on their devices and online accounts to ensure their profile and personal information is not available to the public.
- Discuss and role model appropriate use of devices, websites, and social media apps. This includes the amount of time spent on devices and the use of devices around others.
- Ensure your child understands that certain areas should be device-free, such as bathrooms and changing rooms.
- Set appropriate limits for use of devices.